I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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