yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
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Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
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I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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