Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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