the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize