Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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