So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize