I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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