All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
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That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
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Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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