I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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