**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize