i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize