I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize