pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize