I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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