would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize