Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
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The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
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Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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