It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Randomize