Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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