Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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