would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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