I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize