I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
it hurts more in the daytime
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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