why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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