at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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