now i know why i became what i already was.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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