Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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