Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize