I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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