Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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