I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
