Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize