you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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