i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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