I wish I only lived at night.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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