dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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