Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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