hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize