I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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