Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize