I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He passed out mid-signature
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
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is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
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I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I smell like Dick and happiness
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