Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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