Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
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What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
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At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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