It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize