He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
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You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
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Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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