her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize