Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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