i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
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Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
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So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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