I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
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he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
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When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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