From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize