lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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